Farewell

Dear, Lee

Thanks for everything you did for me. When you received this letter I will be at a place that far away from here. I was very happy to have you with me these 3 months. The time we spent together was the most wonderful time I ever have. Before I met you I never know what love is to me. Love was just like a stranger to me. My parents had divorce when I was 3 years old. They never love me. All they care about is money until today. My mom hates me the most. She always regretted she gave birth on me. I was not in their plan. I was just a misfortune accident to them. My mom felt I dragged her away from her business. I never had parents’ loves from the day I was born. I thought I never get any love from anyone until I met Helena. She was my childhood friend and also my best friend. That’s what I thought until realize she was just using me. I’m just an object to her. Her parents thought if they make me happy then my parents will be happy and sign contract with them. But they never ever think that my parents don’t even love me. At the end, my parents didn’t sign any contract with them so Helena stayed herself away from me. It seemed like I have disease. At that moment, I tell myself never shows anyone my feeling again. Lonely will be my best friend.

Finally I’m in high school already. I was known as an ice queen. I was arrogant to everyone. But there were one person who didn’t think I’m an ice queen. Yoh. He confessed to me. He said he loved the way I am. He doesn’t mind he will be the one that loves me more than I love him. I thought I could really taste true love from him. Every day he goes to my house and cycle me to school and back from school. When it came to weekends he will date me for dinner or visit some heritage. The time I spent with him was fun and I started feeling some love from him. Wonderful time always passed very fast. After a month I’m going out with him, I felt that he started showing me cold back. Sometimes he will treat me extremely nice and gentle and sometimes he will ignored and left me alone. I really don’t know what he wants from me. One day I have found out the reason. Sometimes he treat me extremely nice and gentle because he felt sorry and sometimes he will ignored and left me alone because he didn’t see her, Sam. She was my partner in class. She always said that I’m her best friend and she betrayed me so as my boyfriend. Sam was just like Helena. She was just using me to get close to Yoh. Why am I always an object to everyone? I can felt a sword stabbed into my heart. I swear I never trust anyone any more from that day.

After I graduated from high school, I applied a university scholarship from Australia. I was lucky; I was chosen to go Australia for further studies. During the time I’m in Australia I make use of my experience, used by people to obtain their target. I became a wolf in sheep clothing. I used people to obtain my targets. I never believed anyone. I don’t want to be the one that used by people. I want to be the winner not loser. I lived in my own world.

I always asked myself why I let you walked in my world. Why you treated me like a gem? Why I can’t push you away. From the day we met, I know something going to change. You are so rich and clever. Why did you choose a new bird lawyer that without any experience to be your lawyer? Don’t tell me loves in first sight. I don’t believe that. During the time I work with you, I always made so many mistake and you still let me stay. Whenever I faced a big problem you will stand out and help me. I could felt some love from you but I scared you will same like Yoh. Then during our business trip in Paris you told me you fallen in love with me since the day I when interview in your office. At that moment, I was totally stunned. I don’t know whether I should believe you or not. So I asked you stay in Paris for three months with me. I want to know you love your work more like my parents or you love me more than your work. Then you proved to me that I’m more important than your work during the three month. I felt the loves you given to me. I was so happy but then I don’t want to lose. You are older than me for 30 years old. I don’t want to be the one who left behind by you when you pass away. Maybe you will think my thinking was stupid. How can I know you are the one who die before me? Maybe I will die before you. But I don’t want to take the risk. I will choose to leave you before is too late. I know you will think I’m selfish but I don’t mind. I scared to be left alone and betrayed. I rather believe myself and live alone. Good bye.

FIN