Farewell (II)

Dear Joe,

All I want is a guy that can love me. I can love him more than he loves me. Is that too much? You always tell me that you love me but I didn’t know from when or where your eyes started moving away from me. Whenever I looked into your eyes, I felt like I’m far away from you. It’s like I will never catch up to you. The day we met was a rainy day. The day you confessed to me was also a rainy day. Under the rainbow, I looked into your eyes. All I can see at that moment was our future. I told myself, you are the one that I’m searching for. But everything started to change. Now I can’t see anything through your eyes anymore.

Now I can really see through your eyes is Sam. Sam this, Sam that. Everything you talked to me was all about Sam. You do not care anything that happens to me. I felt that my neighbor cares me more than you care me. Are you even my boyfriend?

Last week, I got robed when I’m on the way back home. I was so scared. My whole body was shaking. I even cried out in the police station. I kept on calling you but no matter how many times I called, you will never answer my calls. You know how nervous and misery I am. At that moment, I really needed you by my side. But where are you?

In this country, you knew I do not have any family here. Do you remember what you promised my parents when you wanted me to stays with you? You said you will take care of me and never leaves me alone. Although you said so but you could not do what you promised. Staying by your side I felt very lonely and unsecure. Every night you left me alone in the apartment and hang out with your friends until midnight. When you have holidays, I thought that I finally have some times to spend with you but you choose to go back visit your family. Visiting your family was nothing wrong, but you refuse to take me with you. At first, I thought it was normal because you are not ready to introduce me to your parents, although we have living together for two years. What that really makes me sad was the one you bought back to visit your parents was Sam. At the time I knew this, I felt that my heart was bleeding. It was like a knife stabbed into my heart. So painful. I hate this feeling.

I don’t care anymore. Joe, I wanted to break up with you. At the time you received this letter, I had left this country. All I wanted to tell you from this letter was not only how I felt but also to advise you. Joe, you are very selfish. This personality will cause you to lose everything that important to you. From the beginning, you never love me. You confessed to me just because of your own dignity. You didn’t want to lose to Adam. You lost a lot of things to Adam so you wanted to take away me that was important to him. You didn’t want me to stay with my parents at Japan because Adam was there. You didn’t love me. You just use me to take revenge on Adam. Congrats you have won but you also lose the most important things to you, Sam.

I believe that Sam is the one you truly love until now. You gave up her just because of your stupid revenge. Even so you gave up her but you keep on destroying her life. You always think things that belong to you will always be yours. You didn’t want anyone to have her so you keep on ruin her date and step down her boyfriend. Everything you done must have made you felt happy. But have you ever think of how will Sam felt? You are the one who gave her hope but you are also the one who make her hope become a nightmare. Think about what I said to you properly. Change before is too late. Take the change that in front of you. Never ever take love as a revenge object. Good bye.

Fin